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art-of-whore:

Today in a debate I told the entire class the friendzone doesn’t exist and three boys gasped like I told them their parents had died

(via helloimbeckyy)





alex-of-macedonia:

theplanlaugh:

So my dad has this new idea: Take this wonderful wasabi thing

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Turn it into beautiful, small rectangles, wrap it in laminated paper and put it in a trident box, so that it’ll look like this:

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Give it to someone when they ask you for gum and watch as their mouth burns. Enjoy.

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(via lyric-sykes)





iamthekingofsassgard:

Do you ever just look at someone and think
“I’m glad your parents had sex”

(via icarlysdildo)





I found my roommate’s twitter…

egobus:

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wow i really got around on the second day of school

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i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything

…I don’t even drink alcohol 

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i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music 

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i don’t even have her number????????????

(via helloimbeckyy)